Precious and Priceless: Lessons I Learned From My Mother
The Women's Issues Committee of the Daughters of the American Revolution offers and essay contest every year. This year I chose to write about my mother and the powerful influence on my life. Read on to learn of my mother.
Sharon
Priceless and Precious
Lessons I Learned from My Mother
I am honored to celebrate my mother and her powerful influence on my life. Mom taught me so much not only through explicate lessons but also through her example. Her patience, hard work, priorities, love for Jesus, and courage continue to inspire me. Her guidance has only grown precious to me through the years. Cancer prematurely took Mom’s life and her death would forever alter mine. Her life lessons and her death have been truly impactful in my life. I want to share some of the characteristics that exemplify Mom’s remarkable life.
My mother, Hattie Palmer Pope, grew up a farm girl. She would later become my dad’s college sweetheart. After they married, they would both graduate from the University of Missouri with degrees in education. Dad became an educator. Mom took time to raise her five children then went on to teach elementary students. Her education would become a key issue when I was a young girl.
In the short time we had together Mom taught me so much. I want to highlight a few of her life lessons.
Mom taught me to follow instructions: While I write in glowing terms of my mother, make no mistake she would brook no nonsense. She had a backbone of steel. My older brother and I would test her resolve many, many times. It would have been far easier for her to let us run amok. Mom set hard and fast boundaries. She had expectations for our behavior, and we would regret not living up to those expectations. Ask me how I know.
Mom taught me all things domestic: As a farm girl mom learned practical skills. She learned to sew, cook, preserve food, and she learned godliness from her mother. She would go on to pass those skills to me. I loved to sew but from time to time, I would get frustrated. Mom was a perfectionist! So, I have ripped out more stitches from garments that I was making than I care to count. When she saw that I had reached my frustration level with a particular seam she would rip it out and say, “let’s do it again”. I learned to cook at her side as we prepared meals for my dad and siblings. There were no dirty dishes in her sink. I washed my fair share of dishes in Mom’s sink. More than once when I thought I was done washing dishes, here came Mom with more dishes. Mom also taught me to have a healthy respect for pressure cookers. I was never to leave one unattended or it could blow the roof off the house. Now as an adult when I am sewing and I need to redo a seam; or when I’m cleaning and can’t do a halfway job; or when I’m cooking and make too much food, I say with a smile and love in my heart, “This is my mother’s fault”. She taught me so well. I appreciate the skills I learned from her as I have used them daily.
Mom taught me priorities: Mom always put her family first. She found herself in a unique position in two key issues teaching and music. In the very small town where we lived, she was one of the few people with an education degree. She was offered multiple teaching positions throughout the area. At the time four of us were in school but my younger sister, Ronda, was a baby. Mom refused to start teaching until Ronda started school. It must have been hard for her. She knew she was needed to teach but she held firm. Family first. Again, she was one of the few people in town who could play the piano. She played the piano at church. She would play for other needs such as graduations and weddings but didn’t allow those events to overshadow her family. Few people in the very small town where I grew up had the qualifications to teach or the talent as a pianist. She gave of her treasure and her talents while putting her family first.
Mom taught me patience: In my 24 years of knowing Mom, I never heard her gossip. She wasn’t a busybody. I never heard her say an unkind word about anyone. She raised five children who tested her patience over and over. I know I did. My older brother and I were partners in crime. Mom knew we were both involved in any of the mischief, and she distributed justice equally. Still like any good mother, through all the trials we challenged her in childrearing, she still loved us.
Mom taught me a tireless work ethic: Time saving appliances were not available at the time Mom became a homemaker. As a child I remember the wringer washer and clothes hung on the line. Eventually Mom got a washer and dryer. No microwaves or dishwashers for her. Mom cooked every meal. There were no fast-food restaurants or diners for us. Mom kept with the continuous cycle of housework, cooking, sewing, gardening minding five children and countless other duties. Mom was either a remarkable actress or she was remarkably stable. Even before cancer she never let her emotions interfere with her duties or her attitude. Mom was a “getter done” person.
Mom was a good daughter: When I was 16 years old, we moved several hours closer to my grandparents. Mom wanted to help care for them as they aged. So, our family upended our lives to move closer to both sets of grandparents. She came full circle from being their daughter to being their caregiver. We still lived about an hour from them, and she frequently made the trip to check on them. She helped them as needed from doctor’s appointments to farm chores. She did what she could for her parents. Mom’s cancer diagnosis and eventual death devastated her parents. She would continue to care for them as long as she was physically able. It saddens me greatly that my mother didn’t live long enough for me to be the daughter that she was to her parents. I never had the opportunity to go that full circle to be her caregiver.
Mom taught me frugality: This is one lesson that I haven’t embraced wholeheartedly. Mom made it a game to see how much money she didn’t spend on anything. She was careful about spending money on everything from groceries to clothing. She enjoyed grocery shopping and coming home and telling my dad how much money she didn’t spend. She was the original recycle, reuse, repurpose woman. She had jars full of buttons from discarded garments. She took zippers out of old garments to reuse in new projects. She grew and tended to a large garden. She would can and freeze the harvest for us to eat throughout the year.
Mom taught me to love Jesus: Mom practiced what she preached. She preached more with her actions than with her words. She grew up in a Christian home where her parents’ modeled godliness. She would in turn model godliness for us. I’ve often said that the nicest thing my mother ever did for me was to live her life so that I know she is in heaven. Mom lived out her faith every day. She wasn’t self-righteous. There were no pious sermons from her. She didn’t talk one way and live another. She taught Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, and served the Lord as she was able. God used Mom unknowingly to train me up for my role as a pastor’s wife.
Mom taught me courage in the face of death: Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 52 years old. She would live only three years after the diagnosis. The cancer repeatedly returned. She would have surgery and carry on. The cycle was repeated until no surgery could help. Mom knew from the outset she had a death sentence. However, she denied the severity of her illness for our sake. She would never let her children know how sick she really was. She covered up her illness to protect us. I was too young and inexperienced to understand the markers of the progression of her illness. When she passed her children ranged in age from 17 to 32 years old. She was stoic in the face of death. No drama. Her faith sustained her. I don’t think I could ever be as brave as Mom was as she faced death. We, her children, feel her loss every day. Her goal was to live to see my sister Ronda, graduate from high school. She didn’t make it.
Her passing would impact me in powerful ways. None of my children or grandchildren would ever know her. So many times, I yearned for her presence, her help and her wisdom. I learned as a young adult the grief of losing a loved one. I have learned to trust God in everything. Heaven has become sweeter to me since she has gone to be with the Lord. Sometimes I’m homesick for heaven.
I am the third of the five children. I bear no physical resemblance to any of my siblings. It has been an ongoing joke over the years that I must have been adopted. If I had been adopted and could have chosen my parents, I would have chosen Dennis and Hattie Pope.
Mom passed when she was 55 years old. I was 24. She has been gone for 49 years. She has lived on in my heart and thoughts all these many years. I recognize the gifts she gave me. Her legacy, her instructions, her wisdom and her courage guide me. I can only hope to be half the woman that she was. Mom exemplifies the DAR motto: God, Family, Country. It is an honor to celebrate my mother as I rejoice in the DAR ties of service and friendship. Precious and priceless, my mother.
Sharon
Priceless and Precious
Lessons I Learned from My Mother
I am honored to celebrate my mother and her powerful influence on my life. Mom taught me so much not only through explicate lessons but also through her example. Her patience, hard work, priorities, love for Jesus, and courage continue to inspire me. Her guidance has only grown precious to me through the years. Cancer prematurely took Mom’s life and her death would forever alter mine. Her life lessons and her death have been truly impactful in my life. I want to share some of the characteristics that exemplify Mom’s remarkable life.
My mother, Hattie Palmer Pope, grew up a farm girl. She would later become my dad’s college sweetheart. After they married, they would both graduate from the University of Missouri with degrees in education. Dad became an educator. Mom took time to raise her five children then went on to teach elementary students. Her education would become a key issue when I was a young girl.
In the short time we had together Mom taught me so much. I want to highlight a few of her life lessons.
Mom taught me to follow instructions: While I write in glowing terms of my mother, make no mistake she would brook no nonsense. She had a backbone of steel. My older brother and I would test her resolve many, many times. It would have been far easier for her to let us run amok. Mom set hard and fast boundaries. She had expectations for our behavior, and we would regret not living up to those expectations. Ask me how I know.
Mom taught me all things domestic: As a farm girl mom learned practical skills. She learned to sew, cook, preserve food, and she learned godliness from her mother. She would go on to pass those skills to me. I loved to sew but from time to time, I would get frustrated. Mom was a perfectionist! So, I have ripped out more stitches from garments that I was making than I care to count. When she saw that I had reached my frustration level with a particular seam she would rip it out and say, “let’s do it again”. I learned to cook at her side as we prepared meals for my dad and siblings. There were no dirty dishes in her sink. I washed my fair share of dishes in Mom’s sink. More than once when I thought I was done washing dishes, here came Mom with more dishes. Mom also taught me to have a healthy respect for pressure cookers. I was never to leave one unattended or it could blow the roof off the house. Now as an adult when I am sewing and I need to redo a seam; or when I’m cleaning and can’t do a halfway job; or when I’m cooking and make too much food, I say with a smile and love in my heart, “This is my mother’s fault”. She taught me so well. I appreciate the skills I learned from her as I have used them daily.
Mom taught me priorities: Mom always put her family first. She found herself in a unique position in two key issues teaching and music. In the very small town where we lived, she was one of the few people with an education degree. She was offered multiple teaching positions throughout the area. At the time four of us were in school but my younger sister, Ronda, was a baby. Mom refused to start teaching until Ronda started school. It must have been hard for her. She knew she was needed to teach but she held firm. Family first. Again, she was one of the few people in town who could play the piano. She played the piano at church. She would play for other needs such as graduations and weddings but didn’t allow those events to overshadow her family. Few people in the very small town where I grew up had the qualifications to teach or the talent as a pianist. She gave of her treasure and her talents while putting her family first.
Mom taught me patience: In my 24 years of knowing Mom, I never heard her gossip. She wasn’t a busybody. I never heard her say an unkind word about anyone. She raised five children who tested her patience over and over. I know I did. My older brother and I were partners in crime. Mom knew we were both involved in any of the mischief, and she distributed justice equally. Still like any good mother, through all the trials we challenged her in childrearing, she still loved us.
Mom taught me a tireless work ethic: Time saving appliances were not available at the time Mom became a homemaker. As a child I remember the wringer washer and clothes hung on the line. Eventually Mom got a washer and dryer. No microwaves or dishwashers for her. Mom cooked every meal. There were no fast-food restaurants or diners for us. Mom kept with the continuous cycle of housework, cooking, sewing, gardening minding five children and countless other duties. Mom was either a remarkable actress or she was remarkably stable. Even before cancer she never let her emotions interfere with her duties or her attitude. Mom was a “getter done” person.
Mom was a good daughter: When I was 16 years old, we moved several hours closer to my grandparents. Mom wanted to help care for them as they aged. So, our family upended our lives to move closer to both sets of grandparents. She came full circle from being their daughter to being their caregiver. We still lived about an hour from them, and she frequently made the trip to check on them. She helped them as needed from doctor’s appointments to farm chores. She did what she could for her parents. Mom’s cancer diagnosis and eventual death devastated her parents. She would continue to care for them as long as she was physically able. It saddens me greatly that my mother didn’t live long enough for me to be the daughter that she was to her parents. I never had the opportunity to go that full circle to be her caregiver.
Mom taught me frugality: This is one lesson that I haven’t embraced wholeheartedly. Mom made it a game to see how much money she didn’t spend on anything. She was careful about spending money on everything from groceries to clothing. She enjoyed grocery shopping and coming home and telling my dad how much money she didn’t spend. She was the original recycle, reuse, repurpose woman. She had jars full of buttons from discarded garments. She took zippers out of old garments to reuse in new projects. She grew and tended to a large garden. She would can and freeze the harvest for us to eat throughout the year.
Mom taught me to love Jesus: Mom practiced what she preached. She preached more with her actions than with her words. She grew up in a Christian home where her parents’ modeled godliness. She would in turn model godliness for us. I’ve often said that the nicest thing my mother ever did for me was to live her life so that I know she is in heaven. Mom lived out her faith every day. She wasn’t self-righteous. There were no pious sermons from her. She didn’t talk one way and live another. She taught Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, and served the Lord as she was able. God used Mom unknowingly to train me up for my role as a pastor’s wife.
Mom taught me courage in the face of death: Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 52 years old. She would live only three years after the diagnosis. The cancer repeatedly returned. She would have surgery and carry on. The cycle was repeated until no surgery could help. Mom knew from the outset she had a death sentence. However, she denied the severity of her illness for our sake. She would never let her children know how sick she really was. She covered up her illness to protect us. I was too young and inexperienced to understand the markers of the progression of her illness. When she passed her children ranged in age from 17 to 32 years old. She was stoic in the face of death. No drama. Her faith sustained her. I don’t think I could ever be as brave as Mom was as she faced death. We, her children, feel her loss every day. Her goal was to live to see my sister Ronda, graduate from high school. She didn’t make it.
Her passing would impact me in powerful ways. None of my children or grandchildren would ever know her. So many times, I yearned for her presence, her help and her wisdom. I learned as a young adult the grief of losing a loved one. I have learned to trust God in everything. Heaven has become sweeter to me since she has gone to be with the Lord. Sometimes I’m homesick for heaven.
I am the third of the five children. I bear no physical resemblance to any of my siblings. It has been an ongoing joke over the years that I must have been adopted. If I had been adopted and could have chosen my parents, I would have chosen Dennis and Hattie Pope.
Mom passed when she was 55 years old. I was 24. She has been gone for 49 years. She has lived on in my heart and thoughts all these many years. I recognize the gifts she gave me. Her legacy, her instructions, her wisdom and her courage guide me. I can only hope to be half the woman that she was. Mom exemplifies the DAR motto: God, Family, Country. It is an honor to celebrate my mother as I rejoice in the DAR ties of service and friendship. Precious and priceless, my mother.
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